In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it’s easy to get swept up in the grind, focusing on a small piece of ourselves while the rest gets neglected.
We often end up investing all our time, energy, and attention into only a fraction of who we truly are.
It’s time to ask ourselves: Why are we spending 100% of our time on only 10% of who we are?
The reality is, when we hyper-focus on only a small part of ourselves—whether that’s work, social media, or just one aspect of our identity—we can end up feeling stuck, unfulfilled, and even lost.
Why does this happen? How does it impact us? How can we start living more balanced lives that celebrate all the parts of who we are?
1. The Problem: A Life Out of Balance
We live in a society that rewards specialization and productivity. We’re often encouraged to pour ourselves fully into our work, our role as parents, our online personas, or a single passion.
While this focus can bring success in one area, it can come at a cost. When we allow one part of our lives to define us, the other parts can feel neglected or forgotten.
We’re not just workers, parents, or friends. We’re complex, multi-faceted people with passions, dreams, and unique qualities that make us who we are.
It’s that complex mix that brings true fulfillment and balance.
Reasons Why We Get Stuck on the 10%
- Society’s Expectations: Society often tells us that a job title, income, or social status defines us.
- Routine and Comfort: Sticking to what we know can feel easier than exploring the unknown.
- Fear of Judgment: We fear that if we change our focus, others might question or judge us.
- Time Constraints: Our busy schedules can make it feel impossible to invest time in “extra” things.
2. The Consequences: What Happens When We Neglect the Other 90%
When we’re overly focused on just one part of ourselves, we end up limiting our potential and missing out on opportunities for growth, fulfillment, and joy.
Here are other common consequences:
Burnout and Exhaustion
When all our energy goes into one area, like work, it’s not surprising that we end up feeling burnt out. It’s as if we’re using only one muscle repeatedly while ignoring the rest, which leads to exhaustion and frustration.
Identity Crisis
When we identify too strongly with one part of our lives, we risk feeling lost if that area changes. If your identity is solely tied to your career, a job change could feel devastating.
Without that career label, you’re left wondering who you are.
Diminished Creativity and Passion
Exploring different interests and aspects of ourselves fuels creativity. When we focus on only one area, our lives can start to feel monotonous and uninspired.
Exploring the “other 90%” keeps us curious, inspired, and passionate.
Unfulfilled Potential
Every one of us has talents and passions waiting to be discovered. By only nurturing a small part of ourselves, we limit our potential.
Life has so much more to offer us when we’re open to exploring it.
3. Rediscovering the Other 90%: Tips for a More Fulfilling Life
It’s time to rebalance your life and discover who you truly are beyond that 10%!
Here are some tips for opening up to other parts of yourself.
1. Make Time for Self-Reflection
Take some time to think about all the roles, values, and interests that make up who you are. Ask yourself:
- What did I love doing as a child?
- What activities make me lose track of time?
- If money were no object, what would I spend my time doing?
Self-reflection helps us uncover passions and dreams that may have been buried under the demands of daily life.
2. Experiment with New Activities and Hobbies
Is there something you’ve always wanted to try but kept putting off? Whether it’s learning a new language, exploring photography, trying out a sport, or volunteering, go for it!
The more varied your experiences, the more opportunity you have to discover your true self.
3. Set Boundaries at Work
Work is often the biggest area where we spend most of our time and energy. Setting boundaries at work can create space for the other parts of you to flourish.
This could mean setting firm “off” times for work, turning off notifications after hours, or delegating tasks where possible.
4. Reconnect with Friends and Family
Relationships are a big part of who we are. Make time for connections that feed your soul. Reconnect with old friends or family members you’ve drifted apart from.
Letting relationships flourish outside of work can help you remember who you are beyond your day-to-day responsibilities.
5. Challenge Self-Limiting Beliefs
Sometimes, we hold onto beliefs about what we should be doing, and those beliefs can limit us.
Do you believe that if you don’t achieve a certain level of success, you’ve failed? Or that it’s not okay to spend time on things that don’t “produce” something?
Start by questioning these assumptions, and give yourself permission to embrace a broader, fuller life.
4. Building a Life That Reflects Your Whole Self
So what does a balanced, multi-dimensional life look like?
1. Create a “Whole-Self” Vision Board
Make a vision board that represents all the different parts of who you are and what you want to explore.
Include everything from career goals to personal hobbies, places you want to visit, skills you want to learn, and relationships you want to build.
This board will serve as a reminder that you are a complex person with many passions and goals.
2. Embrace Imperfection and Growth
One reason we might get stuck in the “10%” is because we’re comfortable and confident there. But to grow, we need to allow ourselves to be beginners and embrace imperfection.
When you try new things, you might not be good at them right away—and that’s okay. Growth and learning come from stepping outside of our comfort zones.
3. Set Personal Development Goals
Set goals that are unrelated to your career or your normal day to day focus. This could mean aiming to read a certain number of books per year, signing up for a creative class, or practicing a new language regularly.
Personal goals remind us that we’re constantly evolving, learning, and developing in multiple ways.
4. Check In With Yourself Regularly
Make it a habit to reflect on your life every few months. Are you still focusing too much on one area? Are you neglecting other parts of yourself?
Adjust your goals and activities to ensure that you’re maintaining a balance.
5. Celebrate Progress in Every Area
As you start exploring the other parts of yourself, celebrate your progress. Whether it’s learning a new skill, making a new friend, or finding a new hobby that brings you joy, acknowledge these wins.
This will reinforce the idea that you’re a multi-dimensional person and that all parts of your life are worth celebrating.
5. The Benefits of a Life Fully Lived
When you give time to all the parts of yourself, you unlock new levels of fulfillment and happiness.
Here are some of the benefits you’ll experience:
- Increased Creativity and Problem-Solving: Exposure to different areas of interest fuels creativity and can provide fresh perspectives on challenges in other parts of life.
- Enhanced Relationships: A well-rounded life makes us more interesting and empathetic, which can deepen our connections with others.
- Improved Mental Health: Variety in our lives helps prevent burnout, reduces stress, and gives us a sense of joy and purpose beyond work.
- Greater Resilience: When one area of life faces challenges, having other interests and roles provides a safety net, helping us bounce back more easily.
- Deeper Self-Awareness: Living in alignment with all parts of yourself means you’re more in tune with your values, desires, and dreams, which leads to a more fulfilling life.
6. You Are More Than One Thing
In a world that often pressures you to define yourselve by one thing— whether it’s your job or your achievements—it feels good to know that you don’t have to.
Life is about variety and exploration, and we are each a complex blend of talents, passions, and dreams. So, stop spending 100% of our time on just 10% of who we are.
Start giving more attention to the whole you. Embrace all parts of yourself—the dreamer, the adventurer, the learner, the friend, and everything else that makes you unique.
When you give space to all these parts, life becomes richer, more fulfilling, and infinitely more enjoyable.
So, take that first step. Try something new, set boundaries, or reconnect with an old friend. The rest of your life is waiting for you.
